Marc Zola, LMFT - Couples Therapist Seattle

ONLINE COUPLES COUNSELING

You’re not broken.
You’re stuck in a pattern.

Marc Zola, LMFT — 20+ years helping couples move past recurring conflict and rediscover genuine intimacy. Author of The Intimacy Paradox

  • Stop the cycle — not just the argument
  • Understand why the same fight keeps happening
  • Work exclusively with a couples specialist
Request an appointment

Most couples get clarity in the first session.

How It Works

  • Step 1: We find your pattern. In the first session, Marc identifies the specific dynamic keeping you stuck. Most couples have never had anyone name it so clearly.
  • Step 2: You understand the why. Once you see how your early experiences shaped your current reactions, blame gives way to curiosity. You stop fighting each other and start working on the pattern together.
  • Step 3: The cycle breaks. With the pattern visible, you have a new language — and new tools. The question stops being “What’s wrong with you?” and becomes “Oh, are we doing the dance again?” Most couples notice a measurable shift within 4–6 sessions.

What happens in the first session?

Marc doesn’t spend the first session re-litigating your last argument. He’s listening for the pattern underneath it. By the end, he’ll usually share what he thinks is keeping you stuck — and most couples say it’s the clearest thing anyone has ever said to them about their relationship.

Request an appointment

is this a familiar pattern?

The same fight, a different day

You’ve had the same argument so many times you could script both sides of it. One of you reaches for connection — wanting to talk, to resolve, to feel close. The other pulls away — needing space, quiet, time to think. The first person pursues harder. The second disappears further. By the end, you’re both exhausted and more alone than when it started.

“Most couples who come to therapy believe they have a fundamental incompatibility. Different values. Different needs. Just wrong for each other. What they actually have is a pattern. The relationship isn’t broken. It’s caught in a repeating cycle that most couples never have named for them. That’s exactly what we’ll do in the first session.”

— Marc Zola, LMFT · Author of The Intimacy Paradox

Rising tension

When tension rises, one of you moves toward connection — pushing to talk it through, to resolve it, to feel close again. The other moves toward space — going quiet, needing time, shutting down until the storm passes.

Opposing styles

But they collide. Every time. And when they do, you stop seeing a pattern and start seeing a villain.

Developed long ago

Both strategies make complete sense. Both came from somewhere real — from how each of you learned, early in life, to feel safe.

See the pattern, create change

Once you see the pattern, everything changes.

Request an appointment

Have you both become conflict avoidant?

  • Sometimes things are subtle. You’ve stopped fighting. You’re polite. Functional. You parent together and manage the household and move through your days side by side. But the closeness you used to have has quietly drained away, and neither of you is sure when it happened or how to get it back.

About Marc Zola, LMFT

Marc has been working with couples for over 22 years. He is an AAMFT Clinical Fellow, a former psychotherapy instructor at the graduate level, and the Founder Emeritus of one of the premier mental health practices in the Pacific Northwest. He works exclusively with couples — no individual therapy, no general practice.

Marc’s approach is direct and time-limited, built around one commitment: identifying the specific pattern driving conflict and giving couples a framework to change it, rather than years of open-ended exploration. Marc sees clients throughout Washington State via secure online video sessions.

Frequently Asked Questions

A: Marc will not spend the hour re-litigating your last argument. He is listening for structure — the pattern underneath the content. By the end of that first session, he will usually share a working hypothesis about what’s keeping you stuck. Most couples tell Marc it’s the clearest thing anyone has ever said to them about their relationship.


A: Marc Zola, LMFT is licensed in Washington State and see clients throughout the state — including Seattle, Bellevue, Redmond, Kirkland, and surrounding areas. All sessions are conducted online.

A: Yes — research consistently shows that telehealth couples therapy produces outcomes equivalent to in-person work. The research matters less than the fit between therapist and couple. If the approach resonates, the medium won’t get in the way.

A: Most couples Marc works with notice a measurable shift within 5–7 sessions. That doesn’t mean the work is done — but something real has changed. The full arc depends on how long the pattern has been running and how willing both partners are to see their part in it. Marc doesn’t believe in indefinite therapy. The goal is to give you tools you can use on your own.

A: It’s one of the most common patterns in couples — and one of the most exhausting. When tension rises, one partner moves toward connection (the Pursuer) while the other moves toward space (the Distancer). Both strategies make sense. Both came from early experiences of what it meant to feel safe. But they collide in ways that leave both partners feeling alone. Once couples can see and name this dynamic, it loses much of its power.

A: Marc works with private pay clients at $250 per session. Many clients find that focused, time-limited work with the right therapist is more cost-effective than months of open-ended therapy covered by insurance. Marc provides superbills for clients who want to seek out-of-network reimbursement — depending on your plan, insurers often reimburse a significant portion of the fee.

Ready to Name What’s Actually Happening?

Most couples wait longer than they should. Not because they don’t care — but because they’re not sure where to start, or whether it will actually help.

The first step is a 15-minute conversation. No commitment. Just enough time for Marc to hear what’s happening and share whether he thinks he can help.

If it’s a good fit, a first session gets scheduled. If it isn’t, Marc will say so honestly — and point toward someone who might be a better match.

Request an appointment